It's okay to give yourself a break.
It’s important to have standards for yourself as you grow so that you can keep yourself slip from slipping back into older, negative habits, or from holding yourself back from your own potential. However, we should allow for mistakes to happen.
We run a real risk of beating ourselves down when we fail to meet the standards which we set for ourselves. This is something that will happen, guaranteed. While I encourage that we hold ourselves to high standards so we can become improve our lives and be the best versions of ourselves, we’re not robots. Mistakes happen, and unforeseen events do occur. Sometimes you may end up violating one of your own standards.
For example, perhaps you were overly harsh when more diplomacy was the ideal course of action in an argument. Emotions took over and feelings were hurt. I am sure everyone has had this happen to us at some point in our lives when emotions get the best of us. You make amends and you carry on with your day. The problems come when you look back and negatively critique your behavior.
Mistakes happen in our lives. We fall short. Expect it to happen at some point. This world is a chaotic place and falling short of our own ideals will happen. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, it means you’re a human being. You made a mistake. It’s okay.
I'm speaking from a lot of experience.
In the past, I used to be incredibly hard on myself. I had to do a lot of self-work to get to a point where I could tell myself, “It’s okay to come up short.” I’m a competitive guy, and I’ve had to learn to accept defeat from time to time. I just had to smile, accept that I’ve been bested, and shake the hand of my opponent for a job well done, metaphorically speaking.
I was raised in negative ways that tore me down for being less than “perfect” (by someone else’s standards). As children, we naturally want to please our elders. It took years for me to realize that I cannot meet someone’s standards that were set high. As a child, I didn’t realize this. I also had to relearn how to talk to myself when I came up short of some imposed ideal. If there’s a lesson to be learned from mistakes, then make note of it. Otherwise, move on with things and don’t spend time looking back. Sometimes, shit just happens. That’s okay.
Shoot for greatness, but please be gentle with yourself along the way.