It's about the journey AND the destination.
Being whole is a way of thinking, being, and approaching the world. The mindset you have day in and day out, the awareness to know where you stand and that you won’t be or ever will be perfect, and your duty to always seek self-awareness and personal growth, are where the sources of wholeness come from.
This matters much, much more than the words you say, the clothes you wear, and the hairstyle you sport. Being whole transcends style and image. One can easily “act” whole, but if you don’t continually learn, grow, and understand that the school of life is ALWAYS in session, you will be at least over halfway there, which is far less than what you could be.
Pain and adversity are here to test you.
Learn to love the pain. Understand that discomfort is something to embrace. Iron sharpens iron, but heat is always generated in this suffering. I don’t subscribe to the idea that life is suffering; that’s not what it’s all about. However, to live the good life and get what you want and deserve, pain is required, and growth is mandatory. This never stops.
Although it may not seem like it, this is incredibly good news. Celebrate your victories, big and small. Six months sober from drugs and/or alcohol? Celebrate. Treat yourself (while staying clean). Ran a marathon? Have a relaxing bath. Successfully been hitting your macronutrients in your diet every day for weeks? Have a cheat or refeed day. Love your growth and love yourself enough to treat yourself with rewards as you chug along with your goals and make progress.
It is worthwhile and healthy to just sit with yourself.
I have a strong tendency to get down on myself for being “lazy”. This is a way I motivate myself, and it had worked in the past, but it was basically me getting down on myself. I have a drive to achieve and this often translates to me taking a mental whip and thrashing myself to get moving. During this recent COVID-19 pandemic/lockdown, I’ve had a lot of time to myself, with lots of things I’d love to get done. I was feeling overwhelmed, and the tendency to get down on myself was set to make it 1000x times worse. So bad, and yet so unnecessary. I ended up taking two days from everything to just sit and be. Just be.
Being able to ‘just be’ is one of the best ways to be whole. You can lean towards the nice side or the badass site but being able to sit with and accept that Is always worthwhile. Just be. Exist.
Do not be hard on yourself. Understand and accept that things will be less than optimal. How you do this is crucial to being whole.
Mistakes are signs of growth.
Allow yourself to be imperfect. Wholeness is a life-long journey. You path is unique, as unique to you as your own DNA. Accept yourself as you are. Know that you deserve to be better and to continually grow and evolve.
Think of it like a plant. It’s ever in a state of growth, of evolution. No matter what it’s stage of its growth journey, it’s a perfect plant. People can be the same; perfect specimens in their journeys of personal growth. The only real difference is that we as people must be intentional in their growth journey. In effect, you water yourself.
In summary
The foundations of wholeness lay in accepting your position on your journey to grow and improve. Being able to treat yourself and celebrate your victories is important. Don’t beat yourself up as you grow, celebrate and be easy on yourself. It’s okay to take a day off of things in order to smell some roses.
Be well, my friends.