Whole people know who they are and what they want out of life. Becoming more whole will provide many benefits to your life.
What I mean by being “whole” is being most confident, centered version of yourself. Many people are feeling like they’re not good enough, not for other people, but for themselves. They don’t see themselves as good enough for others, and so they assume that this is a true statement about themselves. The reality is that is this a lie that they’ve come to believe about themselves, and this colors everything from their beliefs about themselves, to how they come across to others, to what amount of potential they’re capable of, amongst other aspects.
In my book, “Become Whole” and elsewhere on this site, I define being whole as being between being “nice” and being a “jerk” “Nice” people avoid conflict, try to win others approval through seemingly altruistic acts, and tend to hold grudges as opposed to standing up for themselves. On the opposite side, we have the “jerks” who want to be on top, and who feel that they have to walk all over others to get what they want out of life. Being “Whole” goes into the mental models of how to avoid these two extremes, and instead be a person that’s sufficiently capable, personable, and can become better at the game of life.
Below are three ways what being more “whole” will change your life for the better.
You’ll be better able to meet people on their level
Rather than trying to appear manipulative by trying to “win” their favor or trying to appear like the most important person in the room, you can simply engage with people and show them who you really are from the outset upon first meeting them. People don’t want to be treated special or appealed to, most people are hoping to genuinely connect with another human being. Being whole allows you to show your true self from the outset, without any shame, guilt, or need to impress. If rejection happens, they understand that it’s more about the other person than them.
You won't be ruled by your personal demons
Whole people aren’t perfect, they have faults and issues just like anyone else. The difference between them and others is that they don’t let it control who they are. “Nice” people want everyone to like them yet act manipulative and talk about others that they have conflicts with as opposed to working it out, which is something that whole people have no problems with. They understand and are aware of their issues and do the best that they can in spite of them. Whole isn’t perfect, it’s all in how those imperfections impact them. If they get triggered by something, they can take a step back and analyze the situation rather than act on impulses.
You'll have the confidence to steer the ship of your life
Even when the path that they choose is considered “risky”, or is a road less travelled, they reach for their dreams and have a good sense of what they want out of life. It’s not so much the goal of reaching for what is desired, it’s what’s learned along the way that counts. Personal development isn’t a matter of winning a game by accomplishing a solitary goal – it’s about what is learned along the way. Perhaps a change in course will be in order, and where they end up can look a little different then expected? Whole people don’t look at goals and giving their best efforts as an end goal, instead, they know that the process is where the growth is, not the result. They adapt and adjust to changing conditions appropriately and keep themselves going on their unique life path.