An abundance mindset can make all the difference when you face rejection
This is the last of a series of five posts on rejection.
You can catch the earlier parts here: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
Some of you may be familiar with the concept of an “abundance mindset”. What this means is that there are plenty of resources for everyone to go around, you just need to be have the correct frame of mind to recognize this, thereby believing this is the case, and then life will show it’s abundance to you.
Contrast this with the “scarcity mindset”. This is the opposite of abundance in that people with it believe that all resources are finite. This mindset is realistic if things really are scarce. For example, consider time. It’s a finite resource. We don’t have unlimited time – we only have so long to live on this earth. In the case of time it really is a scarce resource.
However, I cannot think of any other resource that you can look at with a scarcity mindset and be accurate. There is an abundance of everything else. Food, money, shelter – these resources abound.
When it comes to how you view yourself and what you believe regarding rejection, these two opposing mindsets can make you believe either the rejection is temporary. You can try again (you just haven’t found someone to accept a date with it yet since it’s a numbers game, for example, and so you keep your chin up). On the other hand, you can believe that something about you isn’t worthy of having what you what, typically because if either a negative, inaccurate belief about yourself, because you believe what you want is only reserved for ‘special’ people, or a mix of both.
That first, more positive outlook is an example of looking at rejection from an abundance mindset, while the latter, more negative one is an example of someone stuck in a scarcity mindset. As you can see, mindset makes the difference.
Abundance vs. scarcity mindsets
Why is this so important?
The late automobile titan Henry Ford said, “Whether or think you can, or you can’t, you’re right.”. Mindset makes the difference.
Aside from those few resources that are really are finite, such as time, you must shift your way of thinking in order to:
1. Lessen the likelihood of rejection in the future, and
2. Be able to handle rejection when it does happen, so you can bounce back and take another swing.
The abundance mindset is how you do both of those things. #2 is especially crucial, because rejection is a certainty in life. I’ve mentioned before earlier in this series that even the best and brightest among us get rejected. Look at it as inevitable, because it is.
The scarcity mindset has really made things harder than they need to be, even in my own life. I believed I wasn’t worthy of attaining real friendship, and my actions, or rather, my lack of action made that a certainty. I never shared parts of myself and so it lowered the potential of having friends and potential lovers into my life. The source? I reasoned that I was of a lower social class than those “normal people” who weren’t teased and could get friendships.
Many people have said to me that I didn’t talk enough growing up. This was because I didn’t believe I was worthy enough to speak up, that I wasn’t a worthy enough person to be listened to. All because I was wrapped in a scarcity mindset.
Never underestimate the power of your beliefs about what can happen in yourself. Your level of confidence goes a long way in achieving good things in life. Mindset isn’t everything- If you want something bad enough you do have to sharpen skills to make it more likely. For example, the abundance mindset gives a man the confidence and security to know he can attract a woman and get her interested in going out with him, but he has to be sharply dressed and look like he’s put together. Spending time on his appearance will make it more likely to get that date, it’s not enough to possess the confidence to know he can score. However, the beliefs and the mindset will fuel the motivation to get those skills to be at his A-game.
This applies not only to dating, but also making new friends, landing job opportunities and making connections with professional network contacts.
The proper mindset also ensures that you bounce back from inevitable rejection quicker. You can brush it off and look at it with an objective eye. The scarcity mindset breeds outright lies as to why rejections happen. If you get rejected 10 times or so in a row, you can step back and see what needs adjusting. That’s right, rejection is feedback. But sometimes feedback won’t be clear; you have nice people going easy on your feelings and so you won’t get what you may need to hear. You can always seek help from an outside, objective source to get some feedback. Help is an abundant source
Lastly, the abundance mindset takes a lot of the fear out of rejection. You accept it’s a possibility, but you know that the opposite could happen. The only way to know is to get up, give it your best shot, and be willing to strike out. You are worthy of getting what you want. You are worth it, no matter your place in life at the moment.
Of course, you may still get discouraged. Your feelings could get hurt. Feel the feeling and know it’s a price to be paid for going after what you want in life.
I hope you enjoyed this series on rejection and that you learned something useful to make your dreams become realities
Until the next time, stay whole my friends!
I hope you enjoyed this series on rejection! Please feel free to leave any thoughts in the comment section below.